Samesies

The kiddo will be eleven soon. This summer, her love of movies ignited. She has seen more than half a dozen movies in the past eight weeks. This weekend, we were able to see movies free, so we went to see two. I love that she gets that movies can be enjoyed together without sitting together in a theatre. I love going to the movies, but I prefer to see them alone. Sitting next to people creates a need to be social. I do not go to the movies to be social. I go to escape.

When the movie ends, she comes to find me, and we discuss the high points, or the funny parts. We watch the end credits to be amused or surprised, and leave quote content in our viewing experiences. I am aware that this has more to do with her newfound need to be independent, but it is still a really nice phase to be in.

Papyrus

Driving to swimming lessons, we’re stopped at a light. The kiddo throws a ghost punch to my right side. 

“I just punched you in the papyrus.”

“What?”

“I hit you in the papyrus.”

“You mean pancreas. It’s pancreas, not papyrus.”

“Oh. Whoops.”

“Papyrus is kinda cool though. You basically punched me in a really cool type of paper or a slick font.”

“Yeah but I was aiming for your pancreas.”

Which Would You Choose?

We were driving to the hair salon. 

Kiddo: Hey Grandma?

Me: Ayup?

K: Which would you choose?

M: Between what?

K: Would you choose a ... Lamborghini, or ...

*I got excited, thinking she was going to make the second option a Mustang, my favourite vehicle*

K: ... a safari?

M: ...

K: ...

M: *thinking* Did you mean a Ferrari?

K: Oh yeah. I always say safari. Whoops. 

M: Uhhuh. 

K: Well?

M: A Lamborghini. I think it would sell for more. 

K: Oh yeah! Good plan!

Ratings

We were talking about a cannibalistic serial killer. The kiddo asked to explain what it was. We told her it was a bad person. Then she wanted us to qualify how bad. 

"Well, he kills people, cooks them, and eats them. On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think that is?"

"A five."

50 Shades

Watching television and an ad comes on for a show called "Shades of Blue". The kiddo was talking to herself and I heard her saying quietly, "50 Shades of Blue."

I almost died holding back my laughter. 

So Close

Yesterday, the kiddo was talking about something that she likes to eat. She then informed me that "the only problem is that it makes me hypoallergenic."

Release The Kraken

Me: You need to finish taking out the trash.

Kid: *facepalm*

Me: Seriously, you need to take it out.

Kid: How about after supper?

Me: No, it will be too dark and you will whine to Jim for help.

Kid: ...

Me: Take out the trash, or I will release the kraken.

Kid: *perking up* Oh! Do it!

Me: Do you know what THE KRAKEN is???

Kid: it's a giant squid. Bring it!


I want to be irritated, but I am impressed that I am raising a girl who a) knows what a kraken is, and b) isn't scared at all! Aaaaahahahahahahaaa!

Watching The Trash

Kiddo was running some trash out to the dumpster this morning. She flew out the door happily enough, then flew right back in. 

"Hey Grandma, is it okay if I wait to run the trash out?"

"Why?"

"The Grouchy Old Man is outside."

"How about if I come sit outside?"

"Deal. You watch him. In case he tries anything."

Like what, my girl? Threatens you in his grouchy voice? Whatevs. I've got your back!