Marriage

"Hey Gramma. You know two women can get married?"

"Yes."

"You know two men can get married?"

"Yes. So can one man and one woman."

"Okay." Pause. "I'm going to marry you."

"Hmmm. What about Jim?"

Heavy sigh. 

"Fine. I'll marry Jim too."

Of Gods & Scary Stuff

The kid is still doing battle with her fear of storms. There was a doozy last night that reduced her to trembling tears. After it had passed I showed her the pink sunset-influenced clouds. "Oh Gramma," she breathed softly, awe in her voice, "thank you for showing me the beautiful pink clouds!"

Then this morning, she wandered up to me and said, "That was a real Thor storm last night, wasn't it?"

Thorstorms. I like it. 

I Didn't Teach Her That

Jim bought the kid some modeling clay. She got right down to constructing herself some Angry Bird Space creatures. Jim and I are talking when all of a sudden the kid says, "This clay compound is working out well."

Ummmm. 

Jim and I stared st each other for a few heartbeats. 

"Did she just say what I think she said?"

"She did."

"I didn't teach her that."

"Neither did I."

I do not get it. It makes me laugh but I don't get it.

Changing Room Manners

Yesterday I found myself in the family change room with the kid and her older sister. After ensuring the door was locked I peeled off my swimsuit and stepped into the shower. The girls were getting out of their suits, and this was their exchange :

Older Kid : We need to make sure the door is shut so no one walks in on us. 

The Kid : Yeah. I don't want anyone to see my weiner. 

Without missing a beat,

Older Kid : You're a girl. You don't have a weiner. You have a vagina. 

The Kid : Yeah. That too. 

I almost drowned in the shower from laughing so hard.